My understanding is that by coming from an unstable background, by this I mean being in foster care so I had attachment issues, I also had very bad behaviour towards authority and men, due to being taken away from my mother and not having a father / male figure in my life even though I longed for love and acceptance, I developed a low sense of worth, and would try to win approval from others while I tried to avoid disapproval by any way possible and then becoming a victim of the conditions of worth.
Because of my low self-concept my orgasmic valuing process was in conflict due to the need for positive regard, approval and longing for a loving parent to belong to. This caused me emotional pain resulting in incongruent behaviour through my teens, this came out as skipping school and drinking / taking drugs and eventually lead to my wanting to take my own life at the age of 12.
Even though my behaviour was bad and I was in emotional stress ,I had a very deep need to be me and be better the order I got, this was self-actualisation. As I was fortunate to meet some good people/ counsellor who gave me unconditional positive regard, empathy and congruence, which gave me the right conditions for personal growth and we worked together on my self worth and introjected values. I did not have this all at once but experienced it a few time growing up.
I then became more trusting ,I’m confident in myself and making my own decisions and using my internal locus of evaluation instead of external locus evaluation, I am still working through the 7 stages to becoming a fully functioning person on different areas of my past as to be me. Know I understand how theory is to my self I can also understand how it applies to clients, with what ever the client brings to the sessions.
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